Friday, September 21, 2018

Mox Nix

I want to find a place
with tall sunflowers
and only one sun, because that is enough.
I want you to know, sir,
that I like a man who enjoys a good meal
and speaks in polysyllables.
I want you to know, lady,
that your olive skin makes me crave the stars, oceans, highways--
I feel a little faint when you move, like shifting earth.

But here is the thing,
the reason I can never find a home
and why I dream constantly every night of
black roses
and heavy doors with steel rings that cannot fly.
The thing is:
I don't want you to fuck me,
and I don't want to fuck you.

I just realized this while watching a field of corn stalks burn.
Sir, I love you so much
that I would mark your books with years from my own life.
Lady, I love you so much
that I would grow blooms, or feathers, or anything that might please you
even for a minute.

But, mox nix.
Here I stay, in space,
where there is only one sun
but endless endless endless
time
and darkness.
_____

for this.

12 comments:

  1. There is so much love there, my friend. An ocean of it.

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  2. Brilliant perspective, Shay. The second to last stanza slays me..

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  3. Cosmic brilliance! Love your Mox nix!

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  4. watching a field of corn stalks burn...That is quite an image. The last stanza, my friend, is brilliant. I would mark your books with years from my own life... I would grow...anything that might please you even for a minute...The things we do for love. Even to staying in space. I agree with Kerry. A brilliant perspective, Shay.

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  5. I'm not sure I'm reading it correctly...the speaker is asexual? Non-human? Non-living? Anyway, it works as a celebration of asexuality as an odd, isolating, but not loveless or miserable way to be...if that's what it's meant to celebrate.

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  6. There are the opportunities we miss, a lifetime of crossroads, but somehow we are left beneath that only sun...
    Is it indecision or just fate that doors are closed?

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  7. This is wrapped up in such wonderful imagery ... startling, slightly strange, but altogether speaks of the essences of both distance, time, space and perspective, as well as being rather just on the edge, cusp of "outside" ...

    I have to leave it for now .... tornado warnings and bad storms in place and the connection keeps breaking off ....

    but wonderful wording here Shay - and I appreciate the sense of "casualness" as if the narrative voice is still slightly undecided, for the indecision and yet forceful claim of "mox nix"

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  8. I wrote a lengthy response to this yesterday and then accidentally navigated away, losing it. I will re-attempt this evening.

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  9. A sad tale of self-isolation from any relationship that ties and might become meaningful – yet I read conflict here (third stanza). (Or maybe sex isn’t ‘your’ thing and platonic is enough.)
    As one who appreciates beauty of all kinds, yet loves solitude - although I do love so dearly (some) people too, I can relate to your words. Yet my world is never dark (and I like to fuck too).
    But maybe I have read your words all wrong.
    Anna :o]

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  10. You offered many roads to travel, which one to choose? And "here" is a place where the tall sunflowers bloom along roadsides.

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don't be stupid.