I could be dreaming
or dying
or feeling the sweat of a glass under my fingers.
There's a man in love--
but not with me.
There's a siren somewhere
rising, fading.
Still sticky hot at midnight
but I'm shivering on the freezer floor
with a bullet
or Bacardi's
in my brain.
I could be dreaming
or dying
or feeling bloody broken glass under my fingers.
There's a man in love
but not with me.
The freezer light looks like a Full Cold Moon
and I'm there, or I'm not,
in the weird silver light
and dreaming.
_____
for this.
It's noir and nightmare and relapse in the same filament. Baby, that's cold.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. You fulfilled the prompt and beyond. What away to describe being locked in a cooler by robbers! As usual you write with such clarity but yet, such dark dreaming.
ReplyDeleteYou captured a moment, almost between life and death - an intense isolation of the individual shut off from the hot midnight, the man in love and dreaming seems close to dying. A very imaginative take on the prompt.
ReplyDeleteA stunning snapshot of a surreal drunken moment, Shay. I love the echo of the ‘siren somewhere / rising, fading’, the glass under fingers and the freezer light that looks like a Full Cold Moon.
ReplyDeleteThe third stanza is my favorite. I also like how you described having broken the glass by squeezing it hard.
ReplyDeleteThis nightmare is brilliant... the whole thought of the moon becoming the lamp in a freezer is chilling.
ReplyDeleteThe sense of being excluded from the love just make it colder.
Oh, the disconnect between liquor and reality is a liquid nightmare. "a bullet of Bacardi's in my brain" love that and the freezer light as full cold moon. There is not much love in the bottom of the bottle. Powerful writing!
ReplyDeleteI love this in-between feeling or vision of being in 2 places (or more) at the same time. I felt the cold of the floor and silver moon versus the warmth of love...somewhere.
ReplyDeleteWow! Those closing lines! Loved this!
ReplyDeleteI feel R.E.M. in your poem. I love their music and your poetry.
ReplyDelete