Biddy crow, watchful overseer of this little patch of ground,
Correct me as I maunder, Queen of sunset, Regent of the leftover loaf.
You with your widow's weeds, me darkly veiled, I startle with you at every random sound--
biddy crow, watchful overseer of this little patch of ground.
We who should seem to agree, never can. We squabble, go silent, gimp importantly around
in search of our Lords--the penny, the kernel, the storybook oaf.
Biddy crow, watchful overseer of this little patch of ground,
Correct me as I maunder, Queen of sunset, Regent of the leftover loaf.
________
for this.
Amen.
ReplyDeleteSimply Marvelous! What a wonderful ode! :)
ReplyDeleteI very much identify with the speaker in this poem. I think she is alone, talking to herself. The biddy crow lives inside her but comes out as an almost physical entity in the form of a bird, sitting watch over her human form as she does mundane tasks like putting away and taking out the leftover meatloaf. A girl is her own best friend, that sort of thing. But still, even though they're one, they still can't agree or get along all the time. The bird is her inner voice, not always encouraging, but often chastising and judging.
ReplyDeleteThis is my favorite part:
"gimp importantly around
in search of our Lords--the penny, the kernel, the storybook oaf."
in search of our Lords--the penny, the kernel, the storybook oaf...
ReplyDeleteI love that line. This is a stark and intricate piece, not what one would expect in a triolet. You take the form to the next level.
Thanks for letting me know about this. As always, your voice is strong and exceptional.
ReplyDeleteWow. I still don't understand the form but wow Do I Understand This Poem. Crows are so wise. Crows are so damned wicked. Crows don't care. Crows care so much. That second stanza...you call us humans out big time. Yes we are weir-dimportant little bastards in search of all that comforts "me"...money, food, sex, stuff. I am surprised this didn't explode off the page and blow us all away.
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic on so many levels. I admire your dexterity with the form, love its rhythm and repetition, and of course the content is brilliant. Just fabulous to read.
ReplyDeleteI love this — the self-effacing quality is almost surreal and the kind of commentary it provides is so well done. That is what we do: "gimp importantly around/in search of our Lords".
ReplyDelete-HA
"move or act in a dreamy or idle manner. Maunder. New one for me.
ReplyDeleteA poison pen... I do so love your touch of hidden sweetness in your poems... I hope that doesn't go away. Like "widow's weeds" but this scares me a bit - I hope you aren't corrected each and every time :)
I like crows, and people who like crows.
ReplyDeletemaunder ... I'm still sitting with maunder.
ReplyDeleteAs I emailed you in the early hours, this poem is word.perfect.
Exceptional. And the form? You've taken it and used it to complete advantage, because the repetition (for as much as the words are the same) imparts a new impact each time, and it all compliments the whole.
As for the content? Well conversing with corvids is always enlightening, even for the squabbles; they make most excellent sparring partners, and oh, they are oh so wise. This poem is simply complex and brilliantly word crafted.
This reminds me so much of gardens I've had over the years and the birds that inhabit them both of us knowing each has staked a claim but a mutual agreement has been reached in its use as we tolerate each other!
ReplyDeleteLove the repetition and magical feel this has..and love that crow!
ReplyDeleteIt gets a therapeutic feeling into the works Shay! Dark and a good show!
ReplyDeleteHank
superb ~
ReplyDeleteOh, I love this. I am incompetent with form, so I bow to your expertise in crafting this stellar poem. I have embraced my dark side often these days. I will so enjoy returning here.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I ordered your book. I am so looking forward to reading it!
DeleteThank you, Susie!
DeleteYou weren't aware people read your old posts on Wordgarden? You weren't aware your rabid, gushing fans recommend your post to their friends?
ReplyDeleteAs Joni Mitchell wrote, "Man, the chick must be twisted." (I think that's what one of the backup singers sang.)