"You can't treat yourself for something if you don't know what the hell got you." --S.M.
One day / black, and green-gray
met at the edge of an ancient wood.
Crow danced, rose, danced again, chattering the while.
Snake curled, coiled, lunged--with its withering smile.
"This is as it should be,"
said the rock, the stream, the tall grass and the trees.
"Bitter serpent," said the crow,
"You are cold but cannot warm yourself;
you cannot embrace, and grow cruel from going without."
"Flighty crow, " hissed the serpent,
I have the rock to warm myself;
I embrace fiercely, faithfully, and but once--with my mouth."
Crow argued, "Your rock-warmth is borrowed--
you borrow it again.
When sun is gone, rock grows cold--and you're alone again."
"This is as it should be,"
said the rock, the stream, the tall grass and the trees.
Crow danced, Snake coiled, they postured as they would--
one black, one green-gray
at the edge of an ancient wood.
________
for this.
I will never tire of reading this. So glad I read the background.
ReplyDeleteHeart and art truths facing off, forever. Or I dunno, I and Thou, missus and missy, equals in predation. Whatever goes down, it is what is is, sigh the rock, the stream, the tall grass and the trees. We know what the serpent is (what a line about its embrace), but what about crow? Lived to tell it I suppose. Looking forward to more....
ReplyDeletethis has this ancient folk-tale feel to it, which is wonderful; and yet like all great fables, it is equally at home for the truths, as they apply now ...
ReplyDeleteI really love the dynamics of the conversation between crow and snake; the 3rd and 4th stanzas are so evocative, so wise for the words each offers; it's word perfect. Loved the phrasing.
and technically, the rhyming and repetition just works a charm; old world, ancient, pagan, wiccan, whatever you wish to name it - this speaks wonderfully rich for it all.
(I could go on and offer more in-depth analysis etc. but you know, I don't need to; I get it anyhow. And this is enough.)
I love this so much, each being with its own truth and happy so. I especially love raven, and find the closing lines completely satisfying. Just gorgeous.
ReplyDeleteYou describe "how it should be," as said by rock, the stream, tall grass and the trees. A delightful tale, I loved each word.
ReplyDeletea myth of your own making in such enthralling verse! Well done!
ReplyDeleteUtterly beautiful! I was going to say what Frank said: you've created your own myth – with all the power and truth a myth should have.
ReplyDeleteAh... I'm on the crow's side but snake had his own wisdom. This reads like something ancient and old. Wonderful (I think you will adore my totem... I need to go visit him and take some photos. I haven't seen him for quite some time)
ReplyDeleteI love the fable feel of this poem, Shay, and the dynamics, not only of the dialogue but also the action in between, especially the rhythm and rhyme of the lines:
ReplyDelete'Crow danced, rose, danced again, chattering the while.
Snake curled, coiled, lunged--with its withering smile.'
and
'Crow danced, Snake coiled, they postured as they would--
one black, one green-gray
at the edge of an ancient wood.'
"This is as it should be,"
ReplyDeletesaid the rock, the stream, the tall grass and the trees.
The inclusion of these lines in the tale really make it for me.. the language of nature, weighing in.
This is surely as it should be- conversation of Mother Earth- without the interference of Man. Love this earthy write.
ReplyDeleteI loved the depth and intensity of this, really nice.
ReplyDeleteLove this, Shay! The repetitive lines give it the feel of a fable.
ReplyDeletejust, fantastic ~
ReplyDelete